Updates

Seems my weight is resolving it self but am not sure. See yesterday I went shopping and bought 1X clothes plus my a size 14 jeans that fit perfectly. I really dont know what this means. So I have a little boost in self esteems and well being as I am getting results with my weight and I am sleeping well. I cut my hair and now I have a different look. 7 days from now I will see the psychiatrist. Wish me will. Next I will blog on a topic I title "Straight from the Heart".

Reflection

Ok. So today I wrote a lenthy post in my other blog. I have been reflecting on the depression assoicated with the obesity. Lowself esteem  and body dysmorphia. I am trying to trace these issues in my life. If I know the origins then I am better able to deal with them.

I am tired of lowself esteem. Of fear. Of negativity. Of loneliness (and yes I am lonely). I wonder why I am not married now. Several guys coming to me but no meaningful relationship. Whats up with me. Whats up with me. Whats up with me??????


I wanna be free. I wanna be free. I want to cut the ties holding me and live free. I want my esteem back. I want it and I want it real bad.

Gatta go. See you soon.

Startups.

I am finally in my final year of college. And it feels good to know that this journey will soon be over. The journey has been great in many ways and not so great in other ways. But oh wells that's life.

I am blogging because I am tryna find an answer to this thing that is always on my chest. This battle that I win and lose and win and lose and win and lose. This stuff is really on my chest. I feel it physically. Yep. I used to be depressed about it but I think I am more mature now. Why should I cry over split milk or continue to worry about stuff that seems not seem to change. Why should I continue to worry and worry as if worrying has ever solved anything. You may be wondering what it is that is on my chest, Its my weight.


NB: I wrote this in 2009 but only just published it.

New Dawn

This blog is a subsidiary of my weightmypain. Here I chronicle my journey to psychological wellness, wholeness and self actualization. I share my deepest and most intimate thoughts with the goal of navigating my maladies and aim to find nirvana and peace.


I just scheduled a consult with a psychiatrist for December 9th 2014. Am off to study now. Wish me well.